


Not alone

by Julieseven



Category: SKAM (France)
Genre: I suck at tags ok, M/M, Unexpected Friendship, school yard encounter
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-05
Updated: 2019-03-05
Packaged: 2019-11-12 07:10:13
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,143
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18006233
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Julieseven/pseuds/Julieseven
Summary: Éliott runs into unexpected support on his way from school.





	Not alone

Éliott never liked walking across the school yard. Back at this old school, people always whispered about him when he walked past and he can't fight the feeling that they do the same thing here.

 

Lately it's become worse, hut not because of the whispering. Hell, Éliott wouldn't even care about the whispering anymore if only he didn't have to see _him_ every day.

 

The few times Éliott has allowed himself to look at Lucas since they stopped talking, every cell in his body ached to walk over to him. Lucas looks fragile, tired and so lost. Éliott knows it's his fault, but he can't do anything to make it better. If he only hadn't touched Lucas, at least then he wouldn't have to remember how good it felt. But now, every time he closes his eyes, Éliott feels Lucas hands on him, caressing his face, grabbing onto his waist and sliding over his back.

 

That's also the reason why Éliott had to end things with Lucille for good. On that Friday night after the party, Lucille tried to take Éliott's clothes off and when she cupped his face between her hands, he burst into tears. Lucille asked him if he was in a depressive episode again, as if that were the only legitimate reason for Éliott's tears, and he all but yelled at her that it was over. She tried to fight him, saying he wasn't ‘thinking clearly’, but Éliott shook his head, saying that every time she touched him, he wished she was Lucas.

 

Lucille left wordlessly after that and Éliott knows he should feel guilty. Instead he just feels relieved that at least, he doesn't have to lie to her anymore.

 

But now he's left with no one. Sure, he talks to some of his classmates sometimes, but nothing beyond Smalltalk. He can't go to the foyer anymore because Lucas is there all the time, so really, he just spends most breaks in a quiet corner somewhere. The less people see him, the better.

 

That's why he keeps his head down as he hurries across the yard as fast as his long legs carry him. And if it wasn't for her loud laugh, Éliott surely would have run straight into Alexia, standing at the gate while on the phone. He looks up at the last second and brushes past her, waving at her apologetically.

 

But Alexia doesn't wave back. Instead, she holds up a hand to signal Éliott to stop. Éliott would rather walk away, but he's always been too polite for his own good. So he stands still as Alexia murmurs “I'll call back later” into her phone and then stuffs it into her pocket.

 

“Éliott,  right?” she asks cheerfully and walks up to him. Hesitantly, Éliott leans forward to kiss her cheeks, nodding slowly when he pulls back.

 

“Yes, and you're Alexia.” He doesn't have to ask. Although it's been almost two months, he'd recognise her anywhere, and not just because of her brightly coloured hair.

 

“It's kind of weird, huh?” Alexia says then,  pulling a face. “Seeing each other here after meeting at a self-help group I mean. Kind of ruins the whole ‘anonymity thing’, if you ask me.”

 

Almost in spite of himself, Éliott grins at her. “Perks of being a teenager I guess. There are only so many Lycées in Paris.”

 

Alexia rolls her eyes. “Tell me about it. It’s a miracle I've never run into an ex at one of those meetings.”

 

They both laugh shortly at that, but then Alexia's face is serious again. “I just … wanted to say… I mean,” she chuckles nervously, burying her hands in her pockets. “It should be obvious since we all signed that agreement not to talk about anything we hear in the group anywhere else.”

 

Éliott swallows hard at that. He recognised Alexia instantly on his first day at the Lycée, but he had hoped she would pretend not to know him. He wishes he had never gone to that self-help group and said the things he said to a room full of strangers. But at that time, it was the only thing he could think of doing besides jumping off a high-rise building to avoid going insane.

 

Alexia seems to notice Éliott’s nervousness, because she suddenly puts a hand on his arm, making him jump. But when he looks up at her, he sees only kind understanding in her eyes.

 

“I’ll never tell anyone okay? I promise! And on the off-chance that you ever need to talk or yell at someone… I’m here.”

 

Élliot stares at her for a few seconds, trying to come up with a polite way to say he doesn’t want to talk about anything. But Alexia doesn’t wait for him to reply.

 

“I’ve been there, ok?” she murmurs, looking at her shoes for a moment before meeting Éliott’s eye again.” I’m alright now, but… I know those days where high buildings become appealing for other reasons than the view.”

 

Her voice is almost a whisper now, but Éliott hears it loud and clear, as if she’d shouted into his ear. Suddenly, he has the urge to pull Alexia into a hug. This girl he hardly knows, who is still smiling at him like she knows exactly what is going on in his fucked-up head. But unlike a lot of other people in his life, she isn’t pitying him. She understands.

 

Eventually, Éliott manages to nod and smile awkwardly. “Thank you,” he croaks, hating that his voice sounds as broken as he feels.

 

Alexia takes a deep breath then and hesitates for a second before surging forward, hugging Éliott around the middle. Éliott gasps with surprise but automatically hugs her back, resting his chin on Alexia’s head for a moment. He closes his eyes and when he feels Alexia’s heart beating fast against his stomach, his throat tightens with the urge to cry. If only he had any tears left.

Eventually, Alexia moves back and cups Éliott’s cheek with one hand. “You’re not alone, Éliott,” she tells him then, and Éliott could swear he sees tears glistening in her eyes.

 

“You neither,” he whispers back, and for the first time in over a week, a genuine smile tugs at his lips. “Thank you,” he says again, leaning forward to kiss Alexia’s cheeks.

 

“You’re welcome. See you around Éliott,” she calls cheerfully and then points to the bus stop down the road. “I gotta run, meeting Daphné for coffee, and she’ll kill me if I’m late.”

 

“Tell her it’s my fault,” Éliott calls back, making them both laugh. And then the bus arrives, and Alexia waves at Éliott one last time before getting onto it.

 

On his way home, Éliott catches himself smiling more than once, and for the first time in what feels like an eternity, his heart is a little lighter.


End file.
